


What About Us

by ailaikclarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Clexa, Clexa end game, Enemies to Lovers, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2019-08-17 00:28:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16505636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ailaikclarke/pseuds/ailaikclarke
Summary: Nobody else was in the room.Nobody but Clarke Griffin.She felt like she wasn’t able to breathe, and the tiny classroom felt like a shoe box in which she was stuck. Stuck for who knows how long, with someone who hated her.Classic Lexa luck.ORThey were best friends, then a fight caused them to be separated for many years.





	1. Should I Give Up?

She looked around, hoping to see somebody else in the room. She scanned the tiny classroom and wondered why she hadn’t asked someone to go with her. Or why she hadn’t accepted her friend’s offer to go get a cup of tea and a cookie together.  
Nobody else was in the room.  
Nobody but Clarke Griffin.  
She felt like she wasn’t able to breathe, and the tiny classroom felt like a shoe box in which she was stuck. Stuck for who knows how long, with someone who hated her.  
Classic Lexa luck.  
She grabbed her phone and texted her sister.

 **L** : Are you okay?  
**A** : Yes, you?  
**L** : I’m safe. In room 293.  
**A** : 431 for me. Are you alone?  
**L** : Nope. I have Clarke with me.  
**A** : Please, tell me that there is another Clarke in this school.  
**L** : Clarke Griffin. The one and only.  
**A** : Oh fuck me.

“This is weird.”  
Lexa was startled by the familiar and, yet, distant, voice. “Not really.”  
“Different.”  
“I’ll give you that, yes.” Lexa replied. “Why are you even talking to me? I thought you hated me.”  
Clarke looked at her. “That I do.”  
“So?”  
Clarke closed her eyes. “I mean. You’re the only person it this room and we’re stuck here.”  
“What a shame, huh?” Lexa asked, a shy smile on her face.  
Clarke quirked an eyebrow. “I have a list of at least a thousand people I’d rather be stuck in a room with.”  
Lexa opened her mouth to reply, but decided against it. Maybe silence was easier than forced words. She grabbed the book she was carrying in her backpack, and started reading.  
The school was in lockdown.  
It was the first time in forever that Lexa had cursed herself for having chosen an extremely technologically advanced university, because it meant that every single room had a smart lock that had been activated once the alarm had sent the school into lockdown.  
In a few words, it meant that the school’s smart system had locked the two of them together in a room, for who knows how long.  
And Clarke hated her.  
“Watcha reading?”  
Lexa shook her head. “I’m sorry, what?”  
“What are you reading?”  
Lexa smiled to herself. “They both die at the end.”  
“Ever the optimist.” Clarke replied.  
“You know me.”  
Clarke’s smile faltered. She opened her mouth to reply, but went back to staring at her phone instead.  
Lexa’s eyes lingered on Clarke for a moment before she went back to her book.  
She realized soon enough that reading wasn’t an option, with her mind wandering to Clarke every few words.  
“How’s your sister?”  
Lexa closed her book, feeling grateful. “She’s good. Annoying as always. Abby?”  
Clarke shrugged. “Same. Good and always annoying.”  
Lexa wondered if she could be the one to ask questions or if letting Clarke conduct was the wisest idea.  
“What do you think the danger is?”  
Lexa shrugged. “Last time it happened it ended up being a drill. I’m sure it’s nothing.”  
Clarke breathed hard. “You’ve never lost your comforting voice. I think it’s a bomb, though.”  
“I thought I was the pessimist. I’m glad we’re stuck here, then.” Lexa sighed. “Even though you’d probably rather be dead.”  
The younger girl shrugged. “Not really.”  
“It’s not a bomb, anyways.”  
“Are you convincing yourself or me?”  
Lexa smiled. “Both.”  
Clarke closed her eyes for a second before getting up and walking closer to where Lexa was sitting. She looked at the chair right in front of the older girl for a second before sitting down. “I felt like I was shouting at you.”  
“Like old times.” Lexa smirked.  
“Like old times.” Clarke repeated. “So, what have you been up to?”  
Lexa felt confused. She enjoyed Clarke’s company, she always had, but it was a bit weird after all those months of screaming and yelling followed by years of silence. “Nothing much. Studying, playing soccer. The usual. You?”  
“Well, I spend most of time trying to make something useful for my classes, even though I mostly end up covered in some kind of paint. Or clay.”  
Lexa pursued her lips to avoid laughing. “The usual, then.”  
“The only difference is that when I covered myself in paint in High School was for a hobby, now it’s actually for school.” Clarke commented. “And I do not have an annoying neighbor telling me that painting on the roof is going to kill me at some point.”  
Lexa breathed hard.  
They had never talked about the past together, or rather, they had never talked about anything together after Clarke had stopped yelling at her all those years earlier.  
“I was worried.”  
Clarke sighed. “All the time. Even when we were kids.”  
“I was born with anxiety.”  
Clarke quirked an eyebrow. “Yes. Definitely.”  
Silence fell on them once again. Lexa was relieved to notice that it wasn’t heavy. It wasn’t a painful silence.  
“How’s your foot anyways? Still hurting?”  
Lexa was confused. “My foot?”  
Clarke shook her head, looking like she had just failed to catch herself before saying something she didn’t mean to say. “You, huh… Your instagram post.”  
“What?” Lexa asked. “Ah, I see. Yes, it does. Still hurts.”  
Clarke pursued her lips. “I use Octavia’s profile sometimes.”  
Lexa nodded, deciding she’d rather say nothing.  
After a minute or so, she spoke. “Is this temporary?”  
“I mean, I hope so. I wouldn’t want to be stuck in a damn classroom for the rest of my days.”  
Lexa sighed. “I meant you talking to me.”  
“It is.” Clarke replied.  
Lexa didn’t miss how quickly Clarke replied. “I figured it would be.”  
Clarke was silent for a moment. “What is done is done.”

 

 

 

 


	2. What is Done is Done

“Still on the soccer team, huh?” Clarke asked.  
“Yes.” Lexa replied. “I fell in love with it at a young age and I seem to be unable to leave it behind.”  
Clarke smiled. “At least you know you’ll always have something that really matters to you.”  
“I do.” Lexa said, looking down. “Any new hobbies?”  
It was a pointless question, of course. Lexa already knew everything she needed to know about Clarke’s life.  
“I’m actually training to become a first responder.”  
“Wow, that’s really cool.”  
Clarke nodded. “It is. You know how I wanted to go to med school, but I was scared it would be too much for me. I guess I found something to quench that kind of thirst.”  
“It makes sense.” Lexa smiled. “Becoming a doctor is a long and tortuous path.”  
The lockdown lasted for a couple of hours and ended with a sigh of relief by both women when an announcement was followed by the smart-lock being unlocked.  
“Goodbye, Lexa.” Clarke said before leaving the tiny classroom and not looking back.  
Lexa sighed and remained seated.   
She closed her eyes for a second before getting up and calling her sister.  
“I need a whiskey. On the rocks.”  
Anya sighed. “It’s eleven in the morning.”  
“Perfect.” Lexa replied. “Meet me at Steven’s.”  
She realized she was power walking to the bar and caught herself before starting to run. Her sister was already by the bar once she got there, looking worried.  
“How was that?”  
Lexa sighed. “Heavy.”  
“Did she yell?”  
Lexa shook her head. “Not at all. She was nice.”  
“How’s that heavy?”  
Lexa sat down. “Being next to her is heavy. She hasn’t spoken to me in three years. Three.”  
“I know.” Anya replied. “What did you talk about?”  
The younger girl shrugged. “Nothing really. I guess she was bored.”  
“That makes no sense.” Anya commented. “You can’t tell me that she talked to you after three years because she was bored.”  
“She did, though.” Lexa said. “And then told me that she’d go back to not talking to me once we got out.”  
Anya closed her eyes. “I don’t like her.”  
“I know you don’t. You used to, though.”  
Anya nodded. “I used to like her before she treated you like shit for nothing.”  
“She doesn’t know it was for nothing.” Lexa replied. “It was my choice.”  
Her sister sighed. “What a stupid choice.”  
“You’ve told me so.” Lexa sighed. “Many times.”  
“I know you regret it.”  
Lexa shook her head. “I do not. I know it was for the greater good.”  
“She’s going to find out one day.”  
“Not if you shut your mouth.”  
Anya quirked an eyebrow. “I am not the only one who knows.”  
“Her mother would never.” Lexa replied.  
“If you say so.”

“ _We’ve been friends since I was born, how could you?” The venom in Clarke’s eyes felt like daggers going through Lexa’s heart. “I thought you loved me.”_  
 _Tears were streaming down the blonde’s cheeks, while her eyes were bloodshot. She was shaking profusely, with gritted teeth and closed fists._  
 _Lexa realized she hadn’t thought it through. She wasn’t prepared for that kind of reaction and had no idea about how to reply._  
 _“What is done is done.” Were the last words she got to speak to her former best friend._

 _“_ Why would she find out anyways?”  
Anya sighed. “Because she’s Clarke and she never stops digging.”  
“I guess the anger she felt was enough to make her stop digging, she hasn’t found out in three years, how is she going to find out now?”  
Her sister shrugged. “You know, the usual Woods luck.”  
Lexa wondered if her sister knew something she wasn’t aware of. “I hope she doesn’t.”  
Clarke couldn’t find out what had actually happened. She couldn’t.   
The two sisters were silent for a moment, before Anya cleared her voice and spoke again. “I think you should tell her.”  
“Why?”  
Anya shrugged. “It’s been long enough. She probably isn’t mad anymore.”  
“She is.” Lexa replied. “She told me so.”  
“She spoke to you, though. I mean, yeah, she was bored, but… You don’t talk to someone you supposedly hate simply because you’re bored.”  
Lexa sighed. “Maybe she thought we might actually die.”  
“Maybe.”  
“What are you thinking about?”  
Her sister pursued her lips. “I don’t know. Did she say anything out of the ordinary?”  
“Well, she asked me about my foot injury and then told me she sometimes uses Octavia’s Instagram profile.”  
Anya quirked an eyebrow. “So she keeps tabs on you.”  
“She does not.”  
“She totally does.” Her sister smiled. “She probably has an unspoken deal with Octavia in which she doesn’t ask anything about you, but is still told or shown things she wouldn’t possibly know about you if it weren’t for Octavia.”  
Lexa stifled a laugh. “You’re insane.”  
“I might be. I am also right, though.”

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Fresh

_“Have you lost your mind?”_

_Lexa sighed. “I haven’t.”_

_“Why are you doing this, then? It’s insane!” Anya replied. “She’s going to fucking murder you and your life is going to be over.”_

_“Hers won’t, though.”_

_Anya closed her eyes. “Do not sacrifice your happiness for hers. Please.”_

_“Sometimes putting others first is worth it, Anya.”_

_“She’s going to hate you forever.”_

_Lexa shrugged. “I don’t care. She’ll be fine if she hates me.”_

_“You’re insane.”_

_Her younger sister looked at her. “I have thought about this long enough, it has to be done. I am going to talk to Abby and tell her everything. She’ll understand.”_

_“Of course she will, but you can’t.”_

_“I have to do this.” Lexa whispered. “And you have to let me.”_

_“I am not Clarke, you can’t tell me those things and play the hero and hope it’ll work on me too. I am your older sister, and I won’t let you do it.”_

_Lexa shrugged. “I don’t care. It’s happening.”_

_Anya breathed hard. “Go ahead. Don’t come crying to me tonight when Clarke rips your heart out, though.”_

_Except that Anya was there to old her through the night when Lexa came back shaking with tears._

Lexa stared at the professor talking in front of the classroom. She felt unable to listen and to take notes, with her mind focused on that hour spent with Clarke in that classroom during lockdown. A knock on the door startled her and she carefully followed the girl who had entered walking from the door to the professor. She spoke to him in hushed tones, but Lexa didn’t miss his grave expression once she wad done talking.

“Mrs Woods, your needed in the office. It’s an emergency.”

Lexa felt her blood freezing in her veins as she got up and followed the girl to the office, frantically looking for her phone to text her sister and make sure that she was okay. Anya didn’t reply and Lexa wondered if something bad had happened to her or if she was in class busy with some project. The girl next to her was silent and Lexa realized that she most likely had no idea about what was going on.

She felt relieved when they got to the office, but started worrying once again when she noticed Clarke standing in front of the door, with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

“Come with me.” She whispered, her teeth gritted.

Lexa was perplexed, but did as instructed. She followed Clarke to an empty classroom and wondered why the blonde girl had faked an emergency to have her come out of class. She watched the younger girl lock the door and feared she was actually going to murder her on the spot.

“What the fuck were you thinking?”

Lexa’s eyes were wide with surprise. “Can you be more specific?”

“I was told this morning that you lied to me all those years ago.”

Lexa swallowed hard. “I most certainly did not.”

Clarke sighed. “I had to watch a video of my mother doing exactly what you told me you did.”

“That’s impossible.”

The blonde girl pursued her lips. “Stop lying to me.”

“I am not.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, Lexa!” Clarke yelled. “Stop lying to me!”

Lexa was taken aback by the other girl’s reaction. “I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“I wanted to protect you.” She whispered. “You had just lost your father, I couldn’t let you lose your mother as well.”

Clarke looked at her for a second. “So you let me lose my best friend?”

“It felt like the wisest choice.”

Clarke pinched the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes. Lexa didn’t miss the single tear running down her cheek. “Even after what we had talked about the weekend before?”

Lexa nodded. “I lost both my parents. I didn’t want you to go through the same thing.”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

Lexa looked at her. “What was the first thing you did once you found out?”

“I came here looking for you.”

The brunette sighed. “And what are you going to do about your mother?”

“Nothing.” Clarke replied. “I am disappearing from her life, because it’s what she deserves for betraying my father first, and then letting a seventeen years old girl taking the fall for a mistake she made.”

Lexa nodded. “See? You were sixteen, I knew for sure that you’d want her gone from your life.”

“Can you imagine where we could be now if my mother hadn’t let you lie?”

She could.

Lexa had imagined many times before what her life would look like if she hadn’t lied to Clarke all those years back and it looked amazing. Almost like a movie, too good to be real.

“It was the right thing to do.”

Clarke nodded. “A tough choice for sure.”

“Exceptionally tough.”

“What is done is done.” Clarke whispered. “But…”

“But?”

“I wanted to ask you if you’d be willing to start fresh.”

“What?” Lexa felt breathless.

“We’ve missed many moments we should have spent together and I realize that we can’t just go back to that weekend and pretend that nothing happened, or that we haven’t changed and grown up, but what we had was amazing and I really need to see if we can go back to where we were.”

The brunette stared at her.

“Yes. Of course. Yes.”

 

 

 


	4. It Feels Alright

* * *

Lexa didn’t know what starting fresh would mean when it came to her relationship with Clarke. All she knew was that she was getting a second chance and that she wasn’t going to waste it once more.

“I can’t let you do this, Lexa.”  
Lexa sighed. “I have to.”  
“You _don’t. I did something wrong and I deserve to pay for it.”_  
 _The younger girl shook her head. “I’d let you do it if you were actually the one paying the price. The truth is that, if you tell her, Clarke is going to pay the price for your mistake.”_  
 _“She’ll get over it.”_  
 _“She won’t.” Lexa commented. “She’s lost enough.”_  
 _“How is losing you fair?”_  
 _“Who said it’d be fair?”_

She walked to class with a backpack that weighed more than her car, cursing herself for choosing gothic literature as an elective course. Her phone went off as she was about to enter the classroom and she rolled her eyes at whoever had the nerve to call her at eight in the morning.  
“This is Lexa Woods speaking.”  
A moment of silence on the other line. “It’s Abby. Griffin.”  
Lexa suddenly stopped walking. “Ah, hi Abby.”  
“Did you tell Clarke about… Our little arrangement?”  
“I did not.” Lexa replied. “She found out and told me she knew everything a couple of weeks ago.”  
Abby sighed. “She knows, then.”  
“She does.” Lexa commented. “If you’ll excuse me, I have class.”  
She hung up the phone before Abby could reply. She sighed before walking to her usual desk and sitting down. Next to her, an exhausted looking Octavia tapped lazily on her phone.  
“Morning captain.” She whispered.  
Lexa smiled. “Good morning Octavia, looking good.”  
Octavia rolled her eyes. “I am dead, this is my corpse you’re talking to.”  
“Hello, corpse, then.” Lexa grinned. “Partied much?”  
Octavia shook her head. “I was up all night watching Netflix.”  
“I love you, Octavia Blake.”  
Octavia sighed loudly. “I love myself as well. At night, when I am convinced that one more episode won’t matter. I hate myself when I see the sun coming up and realize that I have class at dawn.”  
“I was debating whether I should remind you about soccer practice or not.”  
Octavia closed her eyes and banged her head on the desk. “Fuck me.”  
“I can’t wait.”  
Octavia sighed. “I hate you.”  
“Why are you wearing gym shorts, anyways? It’s like… Winter?”  
Octavia pursued her lips. “I watched the season finale and realized that I was too hyped up and couldn’t go to bed and sleep.”  
“Octavia Blake, you did not.”  
Octavia nodded. “I went to the gym before coming to class.”  
Lexa looked at her for a second, but didn’t get the chance to reply, because their professor walked in already talking about some kind of project the both of them were thrilled about doing.  
Her friendship with Octavia was complicated, to say the least. They had stopped talking right after the fight with Clarke, but had been forced to take a step back when they had joined the same soccer team in town. They had never really talked about Clarke, or the situation, even though Octavia would sometimes slip up and say her name or something related to her. Lexa didn’t really mind, since it was one of the only ways for her to know if her former best friend was alright. That and Abby’s texts.   
Their friendship had blossomed into something Lexa cherished, even though she had often feared it would be ripped from her hands, just like what had happened with Clarke.   
Once class was over, Lexa had to shake Octavia awake. “You were asleep.”  
“I wasn’t.”  
Lexa grinned. “You really were.”  
“I was.” Octavia sighed.  
“So, listen.” Lexa began. “Abby called me earlier.”  
Octavia quirked an eyebrow. “I figured she’d stop contacting you now that Clarke’s talking to you.”  
“Me too.” Lexa replied. “She called me to ask if I told Clarke about the whole thing because she’s not talking to her. I told her she found out and then said I had to go to class.”  
Octavia shrugged. “I mean, it’s fair. Clarke is mad.”  
“I can see why.”  
“So you still think that it was the right decision?”  
Lexa nodded. “Of course. She’s angry now, sure, but it’s been quite a long time since it happened, which means that her anger is going to fade away sometime soon. I am not saying that she’s past it, but the pain of what happened to her father is slowly fading, which means that her anger is going to be… Less intense. You do remember how angry she was, don’t you?”  
Octavia sighed. “I do, it was scary. I’m pretty sure she forgot how to speak for like a month and went on crying and yelling instead.”  
“I remember.” Lexa commented. “I guess I’m lucky she chose to cut me off completely.”  
Octavia was silent for a moment. “Yeah, after like two months of yelling continuously anytime she’d see you.”  
“I mean, I’m pretty sure she was screaming even when I wasn’t around.”  
Octavia grinned, “Oh, she was. For sure.”  
“I’m glad it’s over. The past two weeks have been… Interesting.”  
“How’s that going?” Octavia asked. “I mean, you’ve been friends since you were born, then got separated, and now are back to being friends.”  
Lexa shrugged. “Honestly? It feels right. I mean, we’re slowly reconnecting, talking every now and then, nothing too special, but… It feels alright.”

 

 

 


	5. Protect You

“How was class?”  
Lexa pointed at her backpack. “Pick it up.”  
“Why?” Clarke asked as she grabbed it. “Aw, fuck this shit.”  
Lexa grinned. “That’ gothic literature for you.”  
“Is that the class you have with O?”  
The brunette nodded. “That and basics of journalism as well.”  
“Right, I forgot about that one.” Clarke replied.  
“Are you working on anything new?”  
Clarke nodded. “I have this project due in four weeks and I have absolutely no idea about how to tackle it. You know how it feels when you need to do art, but just can’t?”  
Lexa thought about it for a second. It was a feeling she knew well enough. “Yes. Sometimes I feel the need to write, but it just doesn’t come out. Almost as if I knew I had an itch, but didn’t know where.”  
“Yes.” Clarke replied. “The project is about a memory and I have to find a way to depict it.”  
“Have you decided what kind of memory you want to depict?”  
“A happy one.” Clarke commented. “I was thinking about my childhood, but anything about my parents makes me want to either cry or scream at the moment.”  
Lexa sighed. “I’m sure you’ll find something that makes sense to you.”  
“Definitely.” Clarke smiled. “I always do.”

“ _I would have trusted you with my life.” Clarke whispered._  
_Lexa was silent. She had so many things to say and, yet, nothing came out._  
_“It doesn’t matter. I guess we weren’t meant to be.”_  
_We are. Lexa thought. We still are._  
_“It was foolish of me to think that someone I’ve known for literally my whole life wouldn’t betray me and my family. I mean, it’s not like our families have been neighbors since before either of us was born.”_  
_I didn’t betray you. Lexa thought. I’m trying to protect you._  
_“Well, I’m done yelling. I’m done with everything that has to do with you. I’m done. This is the last time that I’m wasting my time to talk to you. Goodbye, Lexa.”_  
_Lexa remained silent._

One afternoon, when Clarke sat next to her during a soccer game, Lexa felt like she was going to pass out. She wasn’t used to being that close to her, even though they had started talking again. Clarke had kept her distance, texting her sometimes and saying hello whenever they met around campus, nothing more. She was clearly being cautious, which made Lexa happy.  
Sure, what had happened between them had been a mistake, but it didn’t mean it hadn’t hurt. The both of them could still remember the sleepless nights spent crying, wishing for it to be over.  
“How long until you can go back down there, captain?”  
Lexa shrugged. “If it were up to me, I’d be down there already.”  
“Not what I asked.”  
“At least two more weeks.” Lexa sighed.  
Clarke smiled. “It’s not that long, you can do it. Plus, playing right now would definitely mean worsening your foot’s status and I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”  
“You’re right.” Lexa smiled back.  
Clarke placed her right hand casually on Lexa’s shoulder. “I always am.”  
With days going by, Lexa started noticing little things that Clarke did and that she hadn’t realized she was missing. Talking to her about the latest episode of her favourite tv show, calling her to complain about a project, bringing one extra cookie in the morning to share.

The cookie thing was special. It was a habit that started when they were young children, when Lexa wasn’t allowed cookies after lunch, and Clarke would always beg her father to add a second one to her lunchbox so that she could share it with Lexa. Because of it being so special to them, Lexa was always happy when Clarke brought her cookie, even though she was always talking about how healthy her diet was. It was pretty healthy, to be honest. Kale and green juices were always on her mind, but the cookie Clarke brought her was always a treat she cherished and loved.

  
Raven had started talking to her again, even though she still felt a bit cold. She had stopped talking to her the moment she had found out what she had supposedly done, following Clarke’s lead and avoiding her for good measure.  
Octavia’s behaviour towards her hadn’t changed, even though it was clear that she felt more secure about sharing details about her days since they mostly concerned either Clarke or Raven and Lexa felt like their friendship could finally blossom into what it deserved to be.  
Overall, Lexa felt good.  
She was scared that something might take her newfound happiness away, but realized soon enough that she had nothing to worry about.  
Clarke knew the truth, they hadn’t talked about it fully since she’d found out, but Lexa realized that her friend needed some more time in order to fully process what had actually happened all those years earlier.  
“So, picture this. A ball. A fucking ball.”  
Lexa was confused. “Okay, I’m picturing a ball.”  
“A ball as in a formal dance thingy.” Octavia clarified.  
“Why?” Lexa was even more confused.  
“Harper is throwing a ball.” Octavia explained. “For her birthday. In two weeks.”  
“Again, why?”  
Octavia shrugged. “Because she’s weird.”  
“That makes absolutely no sense.” Lexa replied.  
The other girl sighed. “It means that we’re all back to prom season in High School, waiting for someone to ask us to the fucking ball and crying our hearts out when Brian Stevenson doesn’t invite us but asks that bitch Ashley instead.”  
“Octavia Blake, what the hell happened to you?” Lexa laughed. “Plus, I’m assuming you’ll be going with Lincoln.”  
“Of course I am. I was channeling my inner High School dramatic girl.” Octavia explained. “Who are you going with?”  
Lexa shrugged. “My sister?”  
“Nope.” Octavia shook her head. “She’s going with Raven.”  
Lexa almost chocked on her tea. “She’s what now?”  
“She doesn’t know, yet.” Octavia explained. “And neither does Raven.”  
Lexa pursued her lips. “How are they going together, then?”  
“They will, trust me.” Octavia replied.  
“You’re weird.”

 

 

 

 


	6. Please, leave

“Did Octavia convince you that Anya and Raven are made for each other?”

Lexa shook her head. “She told me that they’re going to Harper’s party together.”

“She was so convincing this morning I feared she might have prepared a slideshow to prove her point.” Clarke grinned. “She’s so weird sometimes.”

“Sometimes?”

“I mean, she goes from super angry all the time to… Matchmaker?”

“ _They were looking for him, saying that what he was planning on doing would be dangerous.”_  
 _Clarke felt the colour draining from her face. “They murdered him.”_  
 _“He was dangerous.”_  
 _“He wasn’t. He was trying to help people!” Clarke yelled. “I told you about his plan because I trusted you and needed someone to talk to!”_  
 _“He would have destroyed you, too.” Lexa whispered._  
 _Clarke took a shaky deep breath. “I need you to leave, now.”_  
 _“Clarke…”_  
 _The blonde girl closed her eyes for a second. “I am so angry right now, I’m afraid I might grab my old baseball bat and send it flying towards your head, or smash it against your skull until I hear it crack open. So, please, leave.”_

Lexa took a deep breath. “Who are you going with, anyways?”

“Nobody.” Clarke shrugged. “I’m probably going to be out of town that weekend.”

“Lucky you.” Lexa smiled. “I was counting on going with Anya, but O forbade it.”

“You’ll have to tell me if her plan works or if it all crumbles to pieces.”

Lexa nodded. “Will do.”

“Ok. I need to go back to my project.” Clarke commented. “It’s almost done.”

“When is it due again?”

“Friday. The day before the great ball.”

Lexa opened her mouth to reply, but was startled by her phone vibrating on the table. She picked it up and realized it was a text from Octavia.

“Oh, no. Octavia is texting me.”

Clarke grinned. “What does madame matchmaker want?”

Lexa furrowed her brows. “She says that Lincoln has a thing with his friends on Saturday and that he won’t make it to Harper’s party. She says in all capitals that we’re going together and that I am not allowed to say no because she’s already mad.”

Clarke laughed under her breath. “Lucky you.”

“I guess I’m going with O, then. She’s going to make me spy on Anya and Raven for the whole time. Nice!”

“I really wish I were you.”

Lexa nudged her in the ribs. “Of course you fucking do. Go back to your art thingy, you lucky bastard.”

Clarke laughed once more before getting up and waving her goodbye. “See you.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

She watched Clarke turning around and walking back to her dorm-room and realized that she wished they could go together to Harper’s party. She sighed loudly before getting up and walking to the library. She called her sister as she exited the main building and walked outside.  
“What’s up?”

“You sound weird.”

Anya was silent for a moment. “I do not.”

“Anya.” Lexa whispered, smiling to herself.

“Lexa.”

“Anya, come on!” Lexa pleaded. “Talk to me.”

She heard her sister sighing on the other side of the line. “Reyes asked me to the ball.”

“She what now?” Lexa almost tripped on a tree branch. 

“I said yes.”

Again, she almost tripped. “You what now?”

“Stop being dramatic.” Anya warned. “Raven Reyes asked me to the ball and I said yes, so we’re going together.”

“Woah.” Lexa stopped walking. “You’re going to a ball with Raven Reyes in a bit over a week.”

“I know.”

“Are you excited?”

Her sister was silent for a moment. “Not really. It could have been much worse.”

“Like going with me?”

“Exactly my point.”

Lexa snorted. “Thanks.”

“Who are you going with?”

Lexa sighed. “Octavia.”

“I thought she was with Lincoln?”

“She is, but he’s not coming, and she demanded to go with me.”

“Cool.” Anya laughed. “Y’all have fun.”

“Most definitely.” Lexa replied, thinking about Octavia playing matchmaker. “Try not to scare Raven away.”

“I would never do that.”

Lexa shook her head. “Sure.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Well, you are scared relationships, commitment and all that jazz.”

Anya snorted. “I am absolutely not scared.”

“You are.”

“I am not scared!” Anya whispered-yelled into the phone. “I am simply not interested in being someone’s property. I am my own person.”

Lexa closed her eyes. “Being in a relationship doesn’t mean being someone’s property.”

“Some people think it is.”

“Raven doesn’t.” Lexa clarified. “She’s not some people.”

Anya was silent for a minute. “I know she’s not. Which is why I said yes. Now, I have to go.”

“Bye, Anya.” Lexa smiled. 

“Bye, bitch sister.”

 

 


	7. Watercolour

Lexa was sitting under her favourite tree, savouring the last days of warmth before the cold took over. She enjoyed sitting under her tree even during the chilly days of winter, wrapped in a giant scarf and holding a huge cup of warm tea, but being there when she didn’t have to worry about the weather made her feel better. She was holding a book and reading, feeling like the world outside didn’t matter. Her phone vibrating startled her, waking up from her fantasy.

O: I need you to meet me in the art room. The one on the third floor, east wing, might be number 421  
L: The art room? Why?  
O: I have prepared something for Lincoln and you need to tell me if it sucks balls  
L: Give me a minute.

She gathered her things and got up, wondering what Octavia might have prepared for Lincoln. She walked to the east wing, then climbed the stairs up until the third floor, before looking for room number 421.

  
“O, you never make art, what…” Her voice remained stuck in her throat when she realized that the person standing in front of her wasn’t Octavia, but Clarke.  
“Hi.” Clarke smiled. “I’m sorry we lied to you.”  
Lexa felt confused. “No, it’s… What are we doing here?”  
“I wanted to show you my project before handing it in later this afternoon.” Clarke explained, pointing at the wooden easel next to her. The painting on it was covered by a drape, but looked huge.  
Lexa smiled softly. “I was scared you wouldn’t want me to see it.”  
“The project was about memories. Happy or sad, angry or tense, whatever, it didn’t matter.” Clarke began. “I wanted to do something about a happy memory, because I have way too many sad and angry memories and I’m tired of constantly having to talk about those.”  
Lexa nodded. “I can see why.”  
“I started thinking about happy memories, anything that would make sense in the form of art, but nothing really came to mind. I thought about my mother explaining to me how the human body works using a way too detailed anatomical doll when I was five, but that brought tears of anger and the feeling of wanting to murder someone on the spot. I thought about my father teaching me how to fix a car engine when I was fifteen, but it made me want to cry so hard I feared my eyes would come out of their sockets.” Clarke explained, never leaving Lexa’s gaze. “Then it came to me. I couldn’t sleep one night and it came to me.”  
Lexa remembered how often this would happen to Clarke when they were younger. She’d often feel frustrated because she couldn’t make what she had envisioned, but find her inspiration at night, when the world was asleep and the stars were up in the sky.  
“So I made this.”  
Clarke took a few steps back and revealed her project.  
Lexa was taken aback by the painting standing in front of her. It was even bigger than she expected and depicted Clarke’s painting style in any way possible. The background was black, just like Clarke liked, while the painting itself was made in watercolour. It depicted the shared portion of their backyards back at home.  
“I realized that the only happy memory that was still happy was sharing my days and nights with you before everything went to shit.” She explained. “You know how I rarely do watercolour, even though I like it quite a bit. The truth is that I enjoy doing charcoal or ink paintings, but watercolour is helpful when it comes to depicting happiness. So, here we are, two blobs of colour in a sea of black.”  
Lexa was speechless.  
She was staring at the painting, unable to take her eyes off the two splatters of colour right in the middle of that black sea. She had seen many of Clarke’s work throughout their life, but nothing had ever made her feel like the painting she was staring at.  
“I know we’ve been separated for quite a bit of time, I know I’ve hurt you a lot and, even though it was wrong, you made me suffer as well.” Clarke smiled. “Somehow, we’re still here, we still care about each other and I can’t stop thinking about that afternoon in your garden all those years back. It’s a thought I’ve brought everywhere with me, from school to the grocery store, never letting it abandon me. Not even when I hated you, or when you told me those things and broke my heart. That splatter of colour was always in my heart, immersed in a sea of black.”

 _Lexa looked nervous._  
_Scared, maybe._  
_She was shaking, trying to hold her hands still, trying hard not to cry._  
_Clarke_ _looked_ _worried_.  
_Scared_ , _maybe_.  
_She_ _was_ _looking at her best friend, aching to touch her hand, breathing slowly._  
“ _I can’t lie anymore.” Lexa whispered after a while._  
_Clarke was confused. “What about?”_  
“ _You. Me. Us.”_  
_Clarke grabbed her hand to hold. “What’s wrong?”_  
“ _Nothing’s wrong, Clarke.” She took a deep breath. “Except that I am in love with you.”_  
_She was seventeen, taking the biggest risk of her life, unaware of the hell that was coming._  
“ _Oh.” Clarke smiled softly. “I know.”_  
_Lexa was taken aback by Clarke’s reaction. “What?”  
“I know you are.” Clarke repeated. “I am in love with you, too.”_

Clarke was silent for a moment. “Well, that turned out to be slightly sappier than anticipated. Anyways, I wanted you to see this and tell you that you’ve brought light to my life when everything else seemed way too dark to be real. And to ask you if you’d like to go to Harper’s ball with me. Like, as my date.”

 

 


	8. Flashbacks

Unexpected.  
Lexa knew it was the only term she could use to describe what had happened.  
Clarke had asked her out and she had no idea about how she should react.  
The younger blonde girl was staring at her, her eyes glistening with happiness. She looked hopeful and confident at the same time, almost as if she knew that Lexa was going to accept her proposal.  
Her brain was going a thousand miles per hour, but her mouth was stuck, unable to utter a single word.

Yes.

Nothing else.  
She only needed to say yes, but it felt like the heaviest word she had ever pronounced in her whole life.  
Clarke’s smile faltered for a second and Lexa felt like she was going to cry.  
Clarke clearing her voice woke her from her state of trance and she started nodding furiously.

  
“I thought you’d never ask.” She grinned.

  
Clarke looked relieved. “Great, I honestly believed you’d end up saying no.”

  
“The painting is… It’s truly amazing.”

  
Clarke smiled. “I’m glad you liked it.”

  
“It’s so simple and yet so meaningful.” Lexa continued. “I love it.”

  
“Let’s hope that my professor will like it, too.” Clarke replied. “ Not that it really matters.”

  
Lexa nodded. “Did you just ask me out?”

  
“I did.” Clarke commented. “I know that a party is not an ideal first date, but there is nothing conventional about the two of us, I wouldn’t want our first date to be at the cinema or something of sorts.”

  
“It makes sense.” Lexa smiled. “This feels more like us.”

  
Clarke sighed. “I have to go and bring this painting to my professor, wish me luck.”

  
“You’ll do great.” Lexa said, walking the fee steps between them. “Good luck.”

  
Clarke smiled up at her. “Thank you.”

  
Before she could run away, Lexa kissed her softly on the cheek. “Let me know what he says.”  
Clarke looked slightly startled before smiling, nodding and walking away. Lexa stood frozen in place, seemingly unable to process what had happened.

“ _We went together to our junior prom, I always assumed we’d be going together to our senior prom as well.” Clarke said._  
_Octavia looked down._  
“ _I’ve been wondering about my feelings for Lexa for so long, trying to convince myself that they weren’t real and then she grabbed my hand and told me that she was in love with me.” Clarke whispered. “A week before getting my father killed.”_  
_Octavia couldn’t help but notice the change in Clarke’s voice. It had gone from tender and melodious to angry and filled with venom.  
“I truly believed she was the one.” The blonde girl whispered after a while. “How naïve of me.”_

She stood there, staring at where Clarke had been for a few minutes. She felt like she couldn’t move because of the rush of emotions she was feeling. She closed her eyes, thinking of that afternoon in the garden, pouring those hidden feelings on Clarke. She thought about the weeks, months even, prior to that moment. The fear she felt anytime Clarke would hold her, how she was afraid she might understand that something was up. The tears she’d shed at night, when nobody could see her and she could finally admit to herself that she had feelings for her best friend.

 _“I can’t take it anymore.”_  
_Anya sighed. “Just tell her.”_  
_“I can’t do that either.”_  
“ _Listen.” Anya said. “You either tell her, or don’t. It’s up to you, really. Not telling her means spending every single day like this, feeling like you can’t breathe.”_  
“ _Telling her means ruining everything we have.”  
“Or making it the most beautiful thing in the whole fucking world.”_

She then thought about the night Clarke told her about her father. How she explained what he knew. The smile on her face when she told her that she was going to help him. The fear Lexa felt when she realized what it could, potentially, mean.

“ _He’s going to save so many people.”_  
_Lexa swallowed hard. “It’s dangerous.”_  
“ _It is.” Clarke agreed. “But those people deserve better, and my father has an actual way of helping them.”_  
“ _You don’t need to help him, though.” Lexa whispered. “What if you get caught?”_  
_Clarke shook her head. “It’s impossible. Nobody knows about this apart from my mother.”_  
“ _I know about it.”  
“Yes.” Clarke smiled. “But you’d never betray me.”_

She remembered Clarke calling her the next morning, crying so hard it was difficult for Lexa to understand what was going on. She rushed to her best friend’s place, only to find her kneeling down next to Jake’s lifeless body.  
The blonde was shaking, while Abby was calmly standing next to her. She looked like she’d been crying, but Lexa already knew what had happened.

“ _What do you mean?”_  
_Abby sighed, looking down. “I had to.”_  
“ _You had to?” Lexa asked, her eyes wide in disbelief._  
_The older woman looked at her for a moment. “You know I had to. I… I didn’t think they’d hurt him, but I had to protect Clarke.”_  
“ _And you couldn’t think of something less… Tragic? They killed her father!”_  
“ _And my husband.”_  
_Lexa pursued her lips. “She’s going to figure out that it was you. You and I were the only ones to know about Jake’s plan. She’d never suspect of me, she trusts me way too much.”_  
“ _She’s right to.”_  
“ _Tell me what happened. Be thorough.”_  
_Abby closed her eyes. “Jake told me he planned on exposing the company’s documents, the ones where it was clear that they were endangering all those people. He managed to get the documents on his laptop and planned on doing some sort of public announcement, with Clarke by him side.”_  
“ _Yes, this is what Clarke told me.” Lexa replied. “I need to know what you did.”_  
“ _I warned them.” Abby whispered. “I went there and warned them. Told them about Jake’s plan and how he managed to steal those documents. I pleaded, asking them to be merciful. I thought they’d fire him and get those documents back. He went to work yesterday morning and sent me a text saying that he was having dinner with a colleague and that he’d be late. He also told me to get Clarke ready for today, because the announcement was still happening.”_  
_Lexa closed her eyes. “But it never did.”_  
“ _I woke up this morning and he wasn’t next to me.” Abby replied. “I walked downstairs and found his body here.”_  
_Lexa was silent for a moment, looking at Abby with glossy eyes. “I’ll tell her it was me.”_  
“ _What? Absolutely not.”_  
_The younger girl closed her eyes. “You know that this is the only right thing to do at this point.”_  
“ _I can’t let you do this, Lexa.”_  
_Lexa sighed. “I have to.”  
_

 

 

 


	9. Magic

Lexa was waiting by the door.   
She’d been ready for hours, waiting for Clarke to come and pick her up. Her sister had made fun of her for changing shirt six times, but Lexa couldn’t help but change a seventh time. She wanted to look perfect realising that it was a pretty important night for her. She almost fell off her chair when the doorbell went off, and quickly got up and walked to the door. She checked herself on the mirror one last time before opening the door.  
When she finally did, she found what looked like a huge bouquet of flowers with two legs. She quirked an eyebrow, watching Clarke moving the bouquet away from her face and grinning at her.

“I know I told you I’d text you, but it made more sense to ring the bell.” Clarke said. “You know, for the flowers.”

Lexa smiled, not realising that she’d stopped breathing the moment she had seen Clarke.

“You look stunning, by the way.” Clarke whispered, handing her the flowers.

Lexa was still standing still. She shook her head, taking the flowers and holding one finger up as she walked back inside to put them in a vase. She walked outside with a smaller bouquet of flowers and handed it to Clarke, who smiled brightly at her.

“You’re beautiful.” Lexa whispered.

Clarke held her free hand out. “Come, let’s go show those assholes what it means to be good looking.”

Lexa was hesitant at first, but then took Clarke’s hand. Together, they walked to the blonde’s car. The ride to Harper’s house was mostly silent, except for Clarke’s singing moments. When they got to Harper’s house, Clarke was quick to put the car in park and get out of the car to run to Lexa’s side of the car. She held the door open for her and Lexa couldn’t help but laugh.

“You’re always the one doing shit for me.” Clarke explained.

Once again, she held her hand out for Lexa, who gladly took it. They walked to the door, both smiling whole trying to hide it. Unsurprisingly, the door was open. The pair walked inside, and they were immediately surprised by their already drunk friends dancing the night out. Lexa noticed Octavia winking at her and couldn’t help but smile at her friend.

“I thought Lincoln wasn’t coming.” Lexa pointed out.

Clarke smiled as they walked towards Lincoln and Octavia. “Yeah, I had to make sure you wouldn’t find someone else to come with.”

“Hey guys, are you here to steal the most gorgeous looking couple crown from us?” Octavia asked.

Lexa quirked an eyebrow. “We’ve done that years ago.”

“I agree.” Clarke commented, even though she looked a bit surprised by Lexa’s statement.

“How’s the matchmaking going?” Lexa asked, scanning the crowd to see where her sister was.

Octavia grinned. “They’ve disappeared.”

“So it’s going well.”

Octavia nodded. “It’s brilliant but, I mean, it was my idea.”

“Let’s go et something to drink.” Clarke said, looking at Lexa. The brunette nodded, following Clarke to the table. “Beer?”

Lexa nodded. “I haven’t changed much.”

“Yeah, I figured.” Clarke smiled, handing her a bottle of beer. Lexa was already pouring her a glass of vodka soda.

“I’m assuming you haven’t changed much, either.” Lexa whispered.

Clarke nodded, taking the glass. “I haven’t.”

They started talking to various people as they sipped their drinks. They shared a few stories with Echo, they complained about university work with Raven and made fun of Anya. Clarke then somehow managed to convince Lexa to dance, but only after doing three rounds of tequila shots with Anya and Raven.

While they were dancing, Lexa noticed that something had changed in Clarke’s eyes. Her gaze was softer and complimented by a tender smile. She figured Clarke had realised the same about her eyes.   
They danced to loud music, then decided to walk to the balcony when the party became a bit too crowded.

Clarke took a deep breath the moment she walked outside. “I like it here.”

“Me too.” Lexa said, looking at the sky.

“It reminds me of when we were younger, sitting on the roof.” Clarke whispered, sitting down.

Lexa sat next to her, immediately grabbing her hand to hold. “That’s true.”

“You were always scared.” Clarke pointed out, stroking Lexa’s hand with her thumb.

The brunette nodded. “I was aware of the possibility of dying. You were not.”

“I was reckless.”

Lexa looked at her. “Still are.”

“I like to think that I was reckless as a teenager.” Clarke commented. “And then grew into an adult who likes to take risks.”

Lexa rolled her eyes. “It basically means the same thing.”

“I’m aware of the risks I take now.” Clarke whispered, turning to face her.

Lexa blinked. “I don’t take many risks.”

Clarke was silent for a moment as she watched Lexa turn her head to look at the sky. “What about us?”

Lexa frowned. “What about us?”

“Would you take a risk for us?”

Without missing a beat, the brunette nodded. “I’d take a bullet for us.”

“I know.” Clarke whispered before cupping the brunette’s face with her right hand.

Lexa instinctively put her hand over Clarke’s, closing her eyes. “I love you.”

“I know.” Clarke whispered, her face now only a couple of inches away from Lexa’s. “I love you.”

It was Lexa who made the final move.   
She took a deep breath before closing the few inches that separated their mouths, finally being able to do what she’d dreamed about for years. The moment her lips touched Clarke’s, she felt like nothing else mattered. She couldn’t hear the music anymore. She couldn’t feel the cold breeze anymore.

For a second, it was just them. Clarke and Lexa. Finally together. Finally at peace. And all the years of suffering, all the nights spent crying, all the days spent wondering, didn’t matter anymore. They were all gone.

“It feels like a dream.” Lexa whispered. They were touching foreheads, both with their eyes closed.

Clarke smiled at her, unwilling to move from that perfect moment. “It’s all real. This, for how magic it might feel, is real life.”

 

 

 


End file.
